Girl on the phone: So I figured it out. I thought I had swine flu because I had all the symptoms, including the nausea. But now I think it was just a hangover.

-Metro Grocery Store

Girl #1: Dude! That girl definitely just cut us in line! You gotta say something to her.
Girl #2: Ahh I can’t. She irrigates my crops on Farmville.

-New Rez

Girl #1: Can I make an appointment to see an adviser?
Guy Behind Counter: Yeah, sure. Your assigned adviser is available.
Girl #1: Uh…..can I see someone else? She made me cry last time.
Girl #2 In Line: OMG me too!
Girl #3: YEAH me too!!!

-Dawson Hall

Prof: Angela Davis will be here on Friday to give a talk… Now, does anyone know who Angela Davis is?

Student: Isn’t that the woman who was raped and killed?

-Adams Auditorium

Girl: Where can I find the listing with all the jobs that I can apply for?
Receptionist: Do you know myFuture?
Girl: WHAT? Your future?

-CAPS

Guy: This is the first time I’ve been to class sober in a long time. Class should have an open bar.
-Leacock 132

Prof: The most common way to experience the feeling of ecstasy is through orgasm… Have you all had orgasms? I hope so… That’s your homework tonight. Everyone needs to go home and have an orgasm.

-Arts Legacy

Guy: How do we find out what lab group we are in? Can it be found online?
Girl: Math 139 has labs!!!!!!?????
Prof: This class has no labs.
-Math Discussion Boards

Girl: It’s like the Rogers people put an electric buzzer up your vagina and it goes off every time you try to call customer service!

- Lower field

(discussing Rez Council elections)
Girl: I’d totally be his VP Internal.

- Lower Campus