You should have seen the emoticons on this one
(moans and groans behind locked room door, a line of guys are waiting outside to deliver high-fives)
(Door opens)
Guy leaving room: “What, we were on msn!”
—Douglas Hall
(moans and groans behind locked room door, a line of guys are waiting outside to deliver high-fives)
(Door opens)
Guy leaving room: “What, we were on msn!”
—Douglas Hall
TA: Psychopaths lie convincingly, have little regard for the rules, have unrealistic ideas of their performance, are callous with regard to sex, seem reliable but never follow through…
Student: So what’s the difference between psychopaths and [...] men?
TA: Uh… well… I think some men might object.
—Abnormal Psyc
(2 girls walking in the snow)
Girl 1: watch out for the frozen dog pee!
Girl 2: oh relax, i’m wearing boots… it’s not like i’m walking on my tongue!
Girl 1: WHAT?!?!
Girl 2: (stops) WHY DO I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT?!
—Hutchison
Girl (to her friend): “Ugh, this coat is so tight it’s like suffocating me!”
(Bunch of drunk guys walk by)
Drunk guy: “Wooohoooo! Check out the beer belly!”
Girl: “I HATE THIS COAT!!”
—Milton
Girl: “Hey, how much was that eighth you bought last weekend?”
Guy: “Eighth? What’s an eighth? Is it like three-quarters?”
—Plateau
Concerned Friend: You should take it easy drinking.
Drunk Girl: I am easy!!!
—-Douglas
Girl 1: I need a boy.
Girl 2: I’ll find you a bump buddy. You can sleep with my brother if you want.
Girl: (Filling out questionnaire at blood drive) Do I have prostate problems?
—McConnell Blood Drive
Boy: When I was little my mom used to call my penis a gnocchi.
Rest of class:…..HAHAHAHA!!
—-Ital 205
Still Drunk Girl: Where’s the ‘r’ on the keyboard?
Guy: Really?
Still Drunk Girl: Oh, wait, is that what the little house means… homepage? Wow!
Guy: Oh my god.
—Stewart Bio