Confused girl: Um…I think there’s something wrong with this printer…my document isn’t printing!
Person behind desk: What does it say?
[Confused girl looks at the printer with a highly perplexed look on her face...]
Confused girl: Load tray 2???

–Leacock computer lab

Guy #1:”Yo, did you see that girls tights?”
Guy #2: “Yo, I could see that girls vagina.”

–Milton

unwaxed girl #1 : hey do you know where i can get a wax around here?
unwaxed girl #2 : no, im looking too…but i haven’t found a place yet.
unwaxed girl #1 : ya i really wanna find one cause i just finished my period and wanna be good to go for frosh week.

–outside BDP (Ed Note: presumably back in August)

[In regards to a Prince Albert(wiki article, contains a photograph of a penis), the piercing]

Guy: He’s my best friend, I don’t want to stick pins into him.

[Two guys totally baked wearing McGill sweatshirts]
Baked Guy 1: I wonder what would happen if we grew weed only using Fiji Water
Baked Guy 2: Dude…that’ll be dope

–Ultra on Parc at 3am

Part One:
Drunk Male: I’m a fucking retard! Not retard as in “this is a safe zone” but retard as in “I’m missing a fucking Y chromosome.” If you were in science you’d understand…wait, what?
–Gardner Hall

Part Two:
Drunk Girl: I’m a prophet, and prophets don’t drink
–Gardner Hall

Part Three:
Drunk Male: Greece, the country. I has lots of island. 5 letters. G-R-E-E-K. Fuck! Shit! No, 7 letters. G-R-E-E-C…FUCK!
–Gardner Hall

Part Four:
Drunk Male: I am too drunk to taste my Gatorade, but it tastes so good!
–Gardner Hall

[Two guys taking a study break]
Guy 1: Dude, girls are so boring.
Guy 2: I dunno… Girls get way more interesting once you get your dick inside them.

–Presse Cafe, Milton/Parc

(talking about exam on Friday)
Professor: “So don’t go drinking thursday night. There’s a beer and pizza Friday. 5:00 we’re getting smashed.”

-Financial Accounting

Ed Note: We got the same quote, from three different submitter, recalled in three different ways. It’s Overheard At McGill’s game of telephone. Each version recalls the exchange differently.

Version 1:
English major fails to comprehend angelology
(In ENGL 202, pur hero [the professor] explains that according to Paradise Lost, angels could have more pleasurable sex than mortals. He also explains that angels were exclusively depicted as males at the time…)
Girl: Who did the angels have sex with?
Ken Borris: Each other.
Girl: EW!

Version 2:
paradise lost?
guy: so they were having gay angel sex?
—-in eng. 202, filled with english majors or minors at 8:30 am

Version 3:
English Lecture on Paradise lost-

Guy- So they all have gay angel sex?
Prof- Uh.. Yeah!
Prejudiced annoying girl who always makes obnoxious comments: EWW!!

Girl: “Maybe it was just because I was so stoned, but Sex and the City was really good last night.”

–Second Cup on Milton