Friend: So, how was she?
Brotha: Naw, I didn’t let it get that far.
Friend: Come on ‘dawg,’ why not?
Brotha: She was like Amazon.com, down there, and I wasn’t into buying her goods.

—Outside of James Administration Building

[Teacher giving lecture on street drugs including pot which he has been going on about for 10 minutes.]
Girl: Are weed and pot the same thing?
Prof: Yes. (and quickly moves on)

Guy: I don’t think seven years of bad sex would be that bad…after all, you could still drink, right?

–Upper Rez

Prof [reading from an article about women]: “They say that 80 percent of the time when women say no to sex they really mean yes”
Random guy [asks hopefully]: “Really? 80?”

—PHIL 240

guy [to girl]: so I woke up with both of your lipsticks on my neck.

–near Milton Gates

[on Halloween, a man dressed in Pirate garb, walking with crutches and with only one leg.]

Girl: [excited] Oh my god, that’s the best costume! How did he hide his leg so well! That’s so realistic!
[Pirate looks confused/offended; girl walks past, notices that he ACTUALLY doesnt have a leg]
Girl: [below her breath] Oh my god…I’m so insensitive!

–St. Catherine’s & Peel

Girl 1: And I had just had like a crazy six hour sex marathon with my boyfriend.
Girl 2: *laughs*
Girl 1: Yeah, I was so sore. It made playing volleyball very difficult.

–Arts Building

[Spanish prof, trying to create a discussion on how to give suggestions in Spanish.]

Prof: So, why wouldn’t you accept a drink from a stranger at a party?
Girl: Porque es muy sketchy!

–Intermediate Spanish

Girl #1: Are you okay, hon?
Female voice from inside bathroom stall: I don’t know. Is it normal if it’s purple?
–Bathroom at 4Floors

ditsy girl #1: Wow, we had so much fun! We should see each other every day!
[awkward pause]
not so ditsy girl #2: …Yeah.

–Pine & University