(Talking about some documentary she’s seen in class.)
Ignorant Girl: Yeah, it’s set in Panovo.
Clearly Better Informed Friend: (confused) What? Where?
Ignorant Girl: In Panovo. (louder) PANOVO. (spells slowly) P-A-N-O-V-O.
Clearly Better Informed Friend: I really don’t know what you’re referring to.
Ignorant Girl: You must know about it, you just don’t remember. It’s one of the Spanish speaking countries.
—RVC Cafeteria

Rich Girl: “Yeah, that was my pickup line over the summer: ‘So, wanna walk me down to my boat?’”
Girl: “haha nice… what’s your pickup line now?”
Rich Girl: “Um….’So, wanna bone?’”

—Molson

Guy 1: So what are you in?
Girl: Physiology but I’m taking physics and anatomy.
Guy 2: Shit! So you get to go to the morgue and stuff?
Girl: Yea! I love it!
Guy 1: Do you have to touch their privates?!?
—Roddick Gates

Girl (on cellphone): My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself ‘Why can’t I say things like that?’ And I’ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school. Ugh, I am like totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life? I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN…. UGH!! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!
- Elevator, apt. on du Parc

(Ethnic Guy starts crossing the street despite red light)
Ethnic Girl: ARE YOU CRAZY! WE CAN’T WALK INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC!
Ethnic Guy: Please! We’re ethnic. We can’t get hit jaywalking.

—University

Guy: I kind of want to get my eyebrow pierced…
Girl: Don’t do that!!! It’s permanent…on your face!

—Leacock 132

(Rich girl from nyc realizing she’s rich)

Rich Girl from NYC: But like I know a lot of poor people, Im just not friends with them.

Stupid Girl 1: Ew all the beer and food this weekend, I swear I gained 10 lbs.
Stupid Girl 2: I know, I think I’ll fast tomorrow.

—New Rez Cafe

Girl 1:And my boyfriend told me what a bad person I was, and I was like, ‘don’t say that to me, you’re hurting my feelings.’ Then I did drugs and cried all day
Girl 2: Wow, well we should really study today
Girl 1: Yeah, lets stay really late, like till 10.
Girl 2: (totally serious) Yeah, or we can go to the biosphere and get burgers
Girl 1: (totally serious) Yeah

—Leacock elevator

Guy: I used to play clarinet in band, like in middle school. There was this really annoying guy who sat next to me.
Paranoid Girl: What ethnicity was he?
Guy: …I don’t know. He just sat next to me.
Paranoid Girl: Well, what was his name?
Guy: Uh, I think it was Otto.
Paranoid Girl: Oh, so he was foreign. What kind of name is Otto? What color was he?
Guy: (taken aback at the question). I think Otto might be German…
Paranoid Girl: Oh, then he was German. I guess that explains it.

—Near New Rez