[Concordia guy bitching about engineering]
Concordia Guy: It’s brutal, I have to take, like, thermodynamics!
McGill Girl: You want brutal? Brutal is McGill physiology. But seriously, isn’t thermodynamics like exothermic and endothermic and stuff??
Concordia Guy: Well…yeah….but it’s harder than it sounds!!
McGill Girl: What, like exo is negative and endo is positive??
Concordia Guy: (pause) That’s fuckin hard to remember okay?!

—Tim Hortons

(Walking by clubs offices)
Guy 1: (Gives the finger to a closed office door) “Yeah fuck you.”
Guy 2: (reads sign on door) “Uh…that wasn’t cool, what was that for?”
Guy 1: “Just jealous of people with offices and we don’t.”
Guy 2: “Oh ok…cause I thought you had something against the National Society of Black Engineers.”

—Shatner, Fourth Floor

[during a rousing game of "Never Have I Ever"]
Girlfriend (to boyfriend): Oh right, you did cheat on me. I forgot.

—Sugar Shack Trip

Girl: “i wonder if they make disney porn. I mean come on, Belle and the Beast, that’d be hot, who wouldn’t want to watch that? I bet you can find it on the net, the internet that is. We should so go look it up now.”

—RVC

Girl 1 (counting second girl’s piercings): 1, 2, 3, 4, and…5!
Girl 2: Nope! Nine! … Find the other 6 (winks)
Girl 1: You mean…the other 4?

—Biol 112, Leacock 132

Girl 1: What kind of smoothie was that?
Girl 2: Banana and blueberry
Girl 1: [in all seriousness] And those blue things are…banana seeds?

—Ste-Famille

Guy, to girl: Oakville’s really fashionable these days. It’s like the landmine of Ontario.
Girl: What?
Guy: Not that. You know what I mean…
[seconds pass]
Guy: Goldmine. The goldmine.

—rue Union, across the street from Metro

Girl 1: I have a d-cup!
Girl 2: I have a d-cup too!
Girl 3: Me too!
Girl 1: Yay! D-club!!!

—RVC

Nerd 1: Man, I think Superman wore a kryptonite condom…
Nerd 2: Dude, that would hurt.
Nerd 1: Yeah, man!

—BMH Cafeteria

(Prof is talking about factorials)
Management Boy: n minus n equals four!

-MATH 123, Linear Algebra and Probability