Drunk girl: I always throw a finger in the ass…

—RVC

Girl on cell phone: “Yeah, I’m in health services”
(pause)
Girl on cell phone: “I just knew that I couldn’t possibly sit through that exam.”
(pause)
Girl on cell phone: “Okay, cool.  I’ll call you later.  We’re totally getting shit-boxed tonight! Alright.  Bye.”
–Health Services Waiting Room, Brown Building

Guy 1: You’re drunk.
Guy 2: Shut the fuck up.
Guy 1: You shut up.
Guy 2: No! I can do whatever the fuck I want! It’s Canada!

—Upper Rez

Guy 1: “My first university experience was when Iwas about 10. This Russian guy used to come home at 3 in the in the morning and just eat cans of cat food.”
Guy 2: “That’s….disgusting.”
Guy 3: “Yo, I heard cat food is full of a lot of vitamins.”
Guy 1: “Yeah! Me too! Whatever, this was back in Scarbourough anyway…”

–Milton and Parc

Cute Girl 1: Oh my god, last night was one of those nights where you drink so much that you black out and don’t remember anything, like how you even got home.
Cute Girl 2: Well, at least you ended up in your own bed with your pajamas on.
Cute Girl 1: uhhh….

–The Ghetto

(During a game of “Never Have I Ever” at Frosh ’06…)

Girl #1: Never have I ever… made out with my brother.
(Girl #2 drinks up, while the rest of the circle looks on, shocked)
Girl #2: What? I didn’t know he was my brother at the time!

—Lower Field

Professor (in Chinese): What will you do over Christmas?
Girl (in Chinese): I will go home.
Professor (in Chinese): What will you do at home?
Girl (Blurts out in English): Party hard and drink a lot.
Professor (in Chinese): Ah. Are you from Toronto?

–EAST 230

male froshleader: dude, did you just pinch my nipple?
male froshie: uhhhhhhh

–outside of Peel Pub

Stoned Boy #1: Hey, does taste exist?
Stoned Boy #2: No…
Stoned Boy #1: Then taste! (passes beer) Does it taste? Or does it feeeel?

–at Gardner Hall

Guy: I’m starving
Girl: Yea, me too, and we totally don’t have any potatoes at my place and they’re the staple food of my diet.
Guy: Are you Irish?
Girl:…uhh yea

–Arts West