Professor: Does anyone know what MAT stands for?
(Silence)
Professor: Ménage à trois.
(Laughter)
Oblivious Student: Must be a lot of French people here…

-Otto Maass

Professor: There are normal and excessive sex organs. Excessive organs are like breasts in women. We’ll touch upon them next class.

-Subway in Arts

(talking about a professor)

Girl: He’s so hot, with that white shirt he always wears.

Guy: Actually last week he was wearing this….burlesque-like sweater!

Girl: … you mean burlap?

–Leacock

Guy: Did she use the strap-on banana?

- Outside Redpath cafeteria

Professor: The great thing about being a nurse is that you can see whoever you want naked.

-Duff Building

Professor: Do you have any experience in Asia?

Student: Not really… Well, I lived in Vancouver for a little bit.

-Leacock

(Guy and Girl riding in a elevator)
Girl: I said “groups”, NOT boobs. God.
Guy: Oh. (Pause) Sorry, I see boobs everywhere; everything is boobs to me. (Points to the elevator buttons.) Look at these – nipples arranged in a particular pattern.

–Schulich

Girl 1: So, are you coming back for New Year’s?
Girl 2: Oh, definitely… when is New Year’s this year? The 31st?
Girl 1: Yeah, I think so…

-HISP 225

Freshman Girl: Excuse me, where did you get that Tim Hortons cup?

Confused Older Student: Uhh… Tim Hortons?

-Schulich

Girl talking with her friend

Girl: I can’t even flirt my way to a B+ on this test.

–Leacock