TA: The 1963 Vancouver Poetry Conference created competitiveness between Canada’s east and west coast poets, not unlike the eastcoast-westcoast rivalry in hip-hop…albeit a little less cool.

–Canadian Lit

(Prof puts up slide of a Classical Greek statue of a man that is, naked and with shoulder length hair).
Guy (leans over to girl), “Dude, who’s the chick with the dick?”
—Leacock 26

Prof: What great things have we done since the 18th century, really? With all our technology and progress, what have we really accomplished?
Girl (seemingly in earnest): We have three different kinds of iPod.
Prof: …Yeah…

–ENG 202

Guest lecturer: It may be possible that we can control the methylation pattern of our genes.
Student 1: Does that mean we can give ourselves cancer? Like if we alter our methylation pattern?
[Students at the back of class giggile]
Student 1: (Turns around and yells) Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Guest lecturer and class: ….
Student 2: Awkkkkkkward!

—Pharmaceutical Science 563, MacIntrye

[student reacting to professor's story about landmines in Zimbabwe]
Student: “Ok… I’m from Zimbabwe… where EXACTLY are the land mines?”

—POLI 244 

Prof: How many people here have actually taught a class before?
[A few students raise their hands.]
Prof: And you guys can agree that teaching is no eight hour orgasm, yes?

-Philosophical Foundations of Education

Prof: “I hope this doesn’t happen, but…if you randomly dissected 1/3 of the class…”
–Psychology 100

(Outside final exam for Intro to Organiational Behaviour, in which sexual harassment is one of the topics covered)
Girl: Oh, are you here for the exam?
Guy: No, I’m just here to stare at your tits.

—Bronf 151

TA: Does everyone understand where I got this  equation? Do you want to see how it’s derived?
Class (different voices): Yes please… No no keep going..
TA: Ok well I have a bunch of people here that want me to derive it and the people on this side don’t.. (confused)
Student: Just derive half of it.

—Mech 412

[after the Prof spends 15 minutes explaining how a Tuesday has been turned into a Monday schedule, and we have class with him on a Tuesday, even though we normally don't]
Girl: So…what about my Tuesday classes, do I still go to those?
—ECON 208