Girl 1: The guy working tonight is hot.
Girl 2: Nah, he looks like Tin Tin.
Girl 1: Fuck that, I’d have sex with Tin Tin
[pause]
Girl 1: I mean, if he looked like that.
[pause]
Girl 1: But… he doesn’t.
[pause]
Girl 1: God, that was a lot more awkward than I thought it would be.

—Fitness Centre

Girl 1: Yeah, and that’s why we aren’t all drugged out
Drunk Girl 2: Yeah…C-O-C-K
Girl 1: (giggles)
Drunk Girl 2:…yep, thats why we aren’t coked out
Girl 1: …what?
Drunk Girl 2: Coke. C-O-C-K! Coke!

—RVC

Guy: I had a sex dream about you. I mean, about your brother.
Girl: EWWWWW.

—Leacock

(casually during a wine and cheese dinner…)

Girl 1: Can someone help me open this thing!
Girl 2: Oh My God No! dont do it like that, you have to hold it between your legs hard and screw it!
Girl 1: Wow it works really well!

—Solin Hall

Girl: What? You had Tantric Sex with my father?

—RVC Cafeteria

Professor: “In counterpoint you only climax once.”

—Class

Guy: So you’re trying to find a middle ground between slutty and Amish?
Girl: (Gasp) That’s sooo mean….I was never Amish!

—Jewish Studies Building

(in a lecture of about 300 people)
Prof: Sex has a lot to do with cognitive focus. Thats why men who are getting overexcited try to focus on things like baseball.
Guy: (depressed) It doesnt work.

—McIntyre Building

Guy: I’m gonna kill my chem exam!
Girl: I thought you raped exams
Guy: I raped my bio exam. I’m sick of raping.

—New Rez