“I would sacrifice a million asians for $10 Sushi.”

—AUS Office

Prof: “Oh, today is Johnny Cash’s birthday. In case you need a reason to drink.”

—COMP 280

Blonde Girl: What if the Nazi’s got facebook?
—AUS Lounge

Guy 1: Oh, sorry man. I forgot to tell you about it… if you were on facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy 2: (looks pissed off) …I live two doors down from you…

—Molson

Guy: Yeah, you know, when I don’t blaze my OCD really comes out…

—-Prince Arthur

Younger Student: Do you have Facebook? (opens her Facebook profile) See, this is mine…
Continuing Ed/Older Student: HAHA! What’s that? You’re looking to get a date?!

—Stewart Bio

Guy: I had a sex dream about you. I mean, about your brother.
Girl: EWWWWW.

—Leacock

(casually during a wine and cheese dinner…)

Girl 1: Can someone help me open this thing!
Girl 2: Oh My God No! dont do it like that, you have to hold it between your legs hard and screw it!
Girl 1: Wow it works really well!

—Solin Hall

Professor: Does anyone want to know how foreign explosive penetrators work?
(Prof goes to board and reads advertisement for V-Day McGill)
Professor: “Vaginas for life bitches?” This is perfect for talking about explosive penetrators.

—Leacock 132