Guy 1: Yeah, my parents just bought the new version and it has way better graphics and definition and everything.
Girl 1: It’s still exactly the same
Guy 1: Whatever, it has surround sound.
Girl 1: It’s “The Little Mermaid” -it wasn’t meant for surround sound!
- Outside Burnside

Prof: I don’t do Math; I do people
- EDEC 305

Girl1: My exams raped me so hard.
Girl 2: Omigod, my exams raped me harder than the McGill football team.
Stranger: Are you serious!?
Girl 2: Yeah our football team has, like, the worst rep.
- Train, over winter break

Girl 1: Is seductor a word? because i think this guy was totally trying to seduct me..
- corner of Milton and University

Girl #1: She told me that he’s too straight, too heteronormative, and that I should work on that.
Girl #2: Get a strap-on, obviously.
- FRSL 101

Girl 1: So, a cockblock and cocktease pretty much explain themselves in the name
Girl 2: Cockblock, cocktease, I’m cock-everything!
- RVC Cafe

Girl 1: I just don’t get why he doesn’t get hard when we make out Girl 2: God, why does he have to get hard? Just because everything’s hard on your body..
Girl 1: What?? What’s hard on my body? My imaginary penis?
Girl 2: No, your nipples
Girl 1: (pause) oh yeah…
- Redpath Timmy Ho’s

Girl: So how was your night last night?
Guy: I dunno, we’ll have to see what the Facebook pictures say
- SnowAP Tent

Girl 1: I just don’t think I can ever be fully monogamous.
Girl 2: What does your boyfriend think about that?
Girl 1: Which one?
- Lower Campus

Stoned Guy: Do you have anything with, like, protein or cheese in it?
Stoned Girl: YOU’RE EATING JEWS???!!
Stoned Guy: Cheese! Not Jews, cheese!

—Rue Ste-Famille