Monday, December 18, 2006

It means you’re a Science major.

Male Arts student: The professor of that class is constantly referencing phallic symbols. Phallic this, phallic that. He interprets everything as phallic.
Male Science student: What does phallic mean?

—Subway near Stewart Bio

Sunday, December 17, 2006

I’m sorry, let me make it up to you. You up for another round?

(Guy and girl come out of a club office)
Guy: So, are we good now?
Girl: I don’t know . . . you really hurt me.
Guy: Babe, come on, it’s like 8 inches.  It’s gotta hurt a little.
Girl:[disgusted stare]

—4th Floor, Shatner 

And he just joined The Largest Group on Facebook. Oh Wow.

[girl 1, recently dumped, looks at her ex's facebook profile]
girl 1: oh my god, he’s friended three new girls today!
girl 2: oh and look he wrote on their walls!
girl 1: oh my god! he’s totally sleeping with them all!
–Music Library

“It sounds almost as hollow as when I do it on my head”

(Stoners walk into a elevator)
Stoned Skinny Girl: I still cant figure out why it makes that sound.
(The skinny girl keeps knocking her fist into her lung. It makes a drum-like sound)
Stoned Skinny Girl: Its almost like my heart is thumping.
Stoned Guy: Maybe its like cause the lung is a cavity or something.
Skinny Stoned Girl: Even if its a cavity why would it make that sound?
(The stoners exit. Still confused)

– Molson Hall Elevator

“Because we totally would.”

(couple, holding hands)
Girl: Yeah, there’s like, no way they’re going to let us work in the lab together.
Guy: Oh? Why not?
Girl: They totally think we’ll do it or something.

—McGill Bookstore Cafe

Overheard by Pete, for his own sake.

Girl 1: “For pete’s sake, hurry up, *Sally”
Girl 2: “Who’s Pete?”

— Leacock basement women’s bathroom

Saturday, December 16, 2006

“If you want me that much, create a group about it, ok?”

girl: I just can’t stop kissing you…did you hear me? I just said I can’t stop kissing you!
guy: ya, ya… Im looking at facebook pictures…can we talk later?

—SSMU Lounge 

“High five! No? Anybody?”

Drunk girl: I always throw a finger in the ass…

—RVC

“If you are ill or otherwise unable to take this exam due to your health and/or desire to get trashed, please go directly to Health Services.”

Girl on cell phone: “Yeah, I’m in health services”
(pause)
Girl on cell phone: “I just knew that I couldn’t possibly sit through that exam.”
(pause)
Girl on cell phone: “Okay, cool.  I’ll call you later.  We’re totally getting shit-boxed tonight! Alright.  Bye.”
–Health Services Waiting Room, Brown Building

Except secede.

Guy 1: You’re drunk.
Guy 2: Shut the fuck up.
Guy 1: You shut up.
Guy 2: No! I can do whatever the fuck I want! It’s Canada!

—Upper Rez

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