GIRL to HEAD OF PERFORMANCE at the McGill Concerto Competion: “Are all the pieces in this program Con-ser-toes?”
HEAD OF PERFORMANCE: “Well… as this IS the cercerto competion, one would have to reason that, yes, these are all concertoes.”
GIRL: “Oh! And what key is this one in?”
HEAD OF PERFORMANCE: “Well, you can see in the title that it says ‘Concerto No. 1 in D Major’, so one would reason that it is in D Major.”
GIRL: “Oh! Thanks!”
-Pollak Hall

Guy 1: Yeah, my parents just bought the new version and it has way better graphics and definition and everything.
Girl 1: It’s still exactly the same
Guy 1: Whatever, it has surround sound.
Girl 1: It’s “The Little Mermaid” -it wasn’t meant for surround sound!
- Outside Burnside

Elevator opens on the 10th floor.
Guy one enters, giggling.
Guy two: (enters) yo, i can’t believe joe threw that guy out the window.
Guy one: (giggles)
Guys exit on floor 8
Elevator continues on its journey to RC in shock
- New Rez

Prof: I don’t do Math; I do people
- EDEC 305

Girl1: My exams raped me so hard.
Girl 2: Omigod, my exams raped me harder than the McGill football team.
Stranger: Are you serious!?
Girl 2: Yeah our football team has, like, the worst rep.
- Train, over winter break

Prof: “Costa Rico is much better at producing bananas than Canada.”
- ECON 208

Girl 1: Is seductor a word? because i think this guy was totally trying to seduct me..
- corner of Milton and University

Girl #1: She told me that he’s too straight, too heteronormative, and that I should work on that.
Girl #2: Get a strap-on, obviously.
- FRSL 101

Girl #1:  So do we have to buy the expensive book, or can we just get the cheap
one?
TA:  Well, if you think you’ll be continuing in genetics you should get the
expensive one.  But if you’re just tourists, you can get away with the cheap
one.
Girl #2:  We’re not tourists.  We’re FROM Montreal!”

– Bio 370 Tutorial