(in a lecture of about 300 people)
Prof: Sex has a lot to do with cognitive focus. Thats why men who are getting overexcited try to focus on things like baseball.
Guy: (depressed) It doesnt work.

—McIntyre Building

Guy: I’m gonna kill my chem exam!
Girl: I thought you raped exams
Guy: I raped my bio exam. I’m sick of raping.

—New Rez

Girl: “I remember the last time I passed out – it was at my pap smear…”

—RVC Cafeteria

(obliviously walking into the Muslim prayer space beneath the Islamic Studies library while a group of students is praying)
Girl: “Ugh… I don’t know WHY this pathway has had these flip flops lying around for months!”

—Islamic Studies Library Prayer Space

Guy: Three games, three teams of 11 each. thats 999 people.
Everyone looks around awkwardly.
Guy: I did my math wrong didnt I. I’m doing Literature and Linguistics as a major, I can only read!

—Gardner Rez Council

Girl 1: You are a fat whore….well, minus the fat part
Girl 2: whatever–I’d rather be a whore than fat
—New Rez

Gay Guy: If you were gay, I’d totally do you.
Straight Guy: I’m not gay, dude.
Gay Guy: Nobody’s perfect.

—on the lower field

Girl (to friend): We aren’t the only ones who stalk on facebook, are we?

—Arts Building

[Two guys are standing behind the counter serving food]
Server Guy 1: By the way, you know that study I was going to be part of? Turns out I’m ineligible.
Server Guy 2: Why?
Server Guy 1: I tested positive for Tuberculosis.
[people in line start to look uncomfortable]
Server Guy 1: Oh, don’t worry…that was a while ago.—BMH

(Girls are parting before Girl 1 walks into Brutopia)
Girl 1: Good night! (hugs)
Girl 2: Good night! Don’t hook up with any creepy guys, and NO LINGUISTS!
Girl 3: Yeah, no fucking linguists. Unless they’re hot.
Girl 2: No! Not even then! No linguists!

—outside of Brutopia